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View Full Version : Weightlifting is a SIN ! ! ! !!


Hans-Marc Olsen
November 18th 04, 07:52 AM
Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !

Or go to HELL!

Beach Runner
November 18th 04, 02:53 PM
Bully wrote:

> Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
>
>>Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
>>muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
>>
>>Or go to HELL!
>
Except that for health it's great for you. Prevents and treats
osteoperosis and maintains weight and cardio vascular health,
and is even prescribed for arthritis.

Dally
November 18th 04, 04:32 PM
Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:

> Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
> muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
>
> Or go to HELL!

But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?

If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
turned out differently.

Dally

Jim Ranieri
November 18th 04, 05:07 PM
"Dally" > wrote in message
...
> Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
>
> > Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
> > muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
> >
> > Or go to HELL!
>
> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?
>
> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
> turned out differently.
>

He was saving his strength for the boulder-rolling event three days later --
with the added difficulty of performing it while dead.

dr_dickie
November 18th 04, 05:38 PM
"Beach Runner" > wrote in message
. ..
>
>
> Bully wrote:
>
> > Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
> >
> >>Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
> >>muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
> >>
> >>Or go to HELL!
> >
> Except that for health it's great for you. Prevents and treats
> osteoperosis and maintains weight and cardio vascular health,
> and is even prescribed for arthritis.

Yeah, if Jesus had been in better shape, maybe they wouldn't have caught
him. (bastadized from Simpons).

August Pamplona
November 18th 04, 05:50 PM
In ,
Jim Ranieri > typed:
> "Dally" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
>>
>>> Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
>>> muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
>>>
>>> Or go to HELL!
>>
>> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?
>>
>> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
>> turned out differently.
>>
>
> He was saving his strength for the boulder-rolling event three days
> later -- with the added difficulty of performing it while dead.

I don't see how superhuman zombie strength added difficulty to the
event.

August Pamplona
--
The waterfall in Java is not wet.
- omegazero2003 on m.f.w.

a.a. # 1811 apatriot #20 Eater of smut
Proud member of the reality-based community.
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Jim Ranieri
November 18th 04, 06:22 PM
"August Pamplona" > wrote in message
...
> In ,
> Jim Ranieri > typed:
> > "Dally" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >> Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
> >>
> >>> Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
> >>> muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
> >>>
> >>> Or go to HELL!
> >>
> >> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?
> >>
> >> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
> >> turned out differently.
> >>
> >
> > He was saving his strength for the boulder-rolling event three days
> > later -- with the added difficulty of performing it while dead.
>
> I don't see how superhuman zombie strength added difficulty to the
> event.
>


It's funny, I don't recall the term "superhuman zombie" ever being used
during the Easter sermon.

DHW
November 18th 04, 08:47 PM
On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 12:22:47 -0600, "Jim Ranieri"
> wrote:

>
>"August Pamplona" > wrote in message
...
>> In ,
>> Jim Ranieri > typed:
>> > "Dally" > wrote in message
>> > ...
>> >> Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
>> >>
>> >>> Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
>> >>> muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
>> >>>
>> >>> Or go to HELL!
>> >>
>> >> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?
>> >>
>> >> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
>> >> turned out differently.
>> >>
>> >
>> > He was saving his strength for the boulder-rolling event three days
>> > later -- with the added difficulty of performing it while dead.
>>
>> I don't see how superhuman zombie strength added difficulty to the
>> event.
>>
>
>
>It's funny, I don't recall the term "superhuman zombie" ever being used
>during the Easter sermon.
>
Only the Catholics use the term and only on Easter Sunday. It
typically replaces 'holy spirit' when parishoners cross themselves.
"Father, Son, Superhuman Zombie."

You have to say 'superhuman' fast so as not to break up the cadence of
crossing yourself.

(And, being a Catholic, I can say this without fear of going to hell.
Of course, having been Baptist prior to conversion, I've still got
that "once in grace always in grace" thing to fall back on too.)
D. Wells


Remove the numbers to mail me. Include the text "gore-in-2004"
(without quotation marks) to ensure you make it past the spam filter.

Jim Ranieri
November 18th 04, 09:07 PM
"DHW" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 12:22:47 -0600, "Jim Ranieri"
> > wrote:
>
> >
> >"August Pamplona" > wrote in message
> ...
> >> In ,
> >> Jim Ranieri > typed:
> >> > "Dally" > wrote in message
> >> > ...
> >> >> Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
> >> >>
> >> >>> Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
> >> >>> muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
> >> >>>
> >> >>> Or go to HELL!
> >> >>
> >> >> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?
> >> >>
> >> >> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
> >> >> turned out differently.
> >> >>
> >> >
> >> > He was saving his strength for the boulder-rolling event three days
> >> > later -- with the added difficulty of performing it while dead.
> >>
> >> I don't see how superhuman zombie strength added difficulty to the
> >> event.
> >>
> >
> >
> >It's funny, I don't recall the term "superhuman zombie" ever being used
> >during the Easter sermon.
> >
> Only the Catholics use the term and only on Easter Sunday. It
> typically replaces 'holy spirit' when parishoners cross themselves.
> "Father, Son, Superhuman Zombie."
>
> You have to say 'superhuman' fast so as not to break up the cadence of
> crossing yourself.
>
> (And, being a Catholic, I can say this without fear of going to hell.
> Of course, having been Baptist prior to conversion, I've still got
> that "once in grace always in grace" thing to fall back on too.)
> D. Wells
>


As a Christmas and Easter Lutheran type, I guess I'm pretty much screwed -
but it was worth the chuckle. Now open your hymnals to page 456 and join me
in singing, My Shepherd, The Superhuman Zombie...

bc
November 19th 04, 05:15 PM
"Randy Shrader" > wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> "Hans-Marc Olsen" > wrote in message
> m...
> > Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
> > muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
> >
> > Or go to HELL!
>
> ca.sunstroke is a trolling competition group, rated by number of replies.
> If you're gonna reply, leave the other groups out. If they get a response
> here, they'll be back.
>
> Randy

trolling competition group - What fun. Does Hudson know about this?

That mallet_riveter guy really should have thrown in some left wing
politics if he/she meant to hook this group. No pride in their craft
apparently. Kinda ammateurish really.

- bc

bc
November 19th 04, 05:20 PM
"Jim Ranieri" > wrote in message >...
> "DHW" > wrote in message
> ...
> > On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 12:22:47 -0600, "Jim Ranieri"
> > > wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >"August Pamplona" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > >> In ,
> > >> Jim Ranieri > typed:
> > >> > "Dally" > wrote in message
> > >> > ...
> > >> >> Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
> > >> >>
> > >> >>> Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
> > >> >>> muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
> > >> >>>
> > >> >>> Or go to HELL!
> > >> >>
> > >> >> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?
> > >> >>
> > >> >> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
> > >> >> turned out differently.
> > >> >>
> > >> >
> > >> > He was saving his strength for the boulder-rolling event three days
> > >> > later -- with the added difficulty of performing it while dead.
> > >>
> > >> I don't see how superhuman zombie strength added difficulty to the
> > >> event.
> > >>
> > >
> > >
> > >It's funny, I don't recall the term "superhuman zombie" ever being used
> > >during the Easter sermon.
> > >
> > Only the Catholics use the term and only on Easter Sunday. It
> > typically replaces 'holy spirit' when parishoners cross themselves.
> > "Father, Son, Superhuman Zombie."
> >
> > You have to say 'superhuman' fast so as not to break up the cadence of
> > crossing yourself.
> >
> > (And, being a Catholic, I can say this without fear of going to hell.
> > Of course, having been Baptist prior to conversion, I've still got
> > that "once in grace always in grace" thing to fall back on too.)
> > D. Wells
> >
>
>
> As a Christmas and Easter Lutheran type, I guess I'm pretty much screwed -
> but it was worth the chuckle. Now open your hymnals to page 456 and join me
> in singing, My Shepherd, The Superhuman Zombie...

Yup, one of my favorites. Although they keep changing the hymnals, as
I find every time I go home to visit mom, and it's probably been
replaced by something more modern like, "His Vacant Eyes Watch Over
Me."


- bc

Eric Witte
November 19th 04, 06:48 PM
> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?
>
> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
> turned out differently.
>
> Dally

I wish he lived. Just so it would not have brainwashed so many
generations of people ;)

Eric

Jim Ranieri
November 20th 04, 04:56 AM
"bc" > wrote in message
om...
> "Jim Ranieri" > wrote in message
>...
> > "DHW" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 12:22:47 -0600, "Jim Ranieri"
> > > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >"August Pamplona" > wrote in message
> > > ...
> > > >> In ,
> > > >> Jim Ranieri > typed:
> > > >> > "Dally" > wrote in message
> > > >> > ...
> > > >> >> Hans-Marc Olsen wrote:
> > > >> >>
> > > >> >>> Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not
like
> > > >> >>> muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
> > > >> >>>
> > > >> >>> Or go to HELL!
> > > >> >>
> > > >> >> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to
Calvary?
> > > >> >>
> > > >> >> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could
have
> > > >> >> turned out differently.
> > > >> >>
> > > >> >
> > > >> > He was saving his strength for the boulder-rolling event three
days
> > > >> > later -- with the added difficulty of performing it while dead.
> > > >>
> > > >> I don't see how superhuman zombie strength added difficulty to
the
> > > >> event.
> > > >>
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >It's funny, I don't recall the term "superhuman zombie" ever being
used
> > > >during the Easter sermon.
> > > >
> > > Only the Catholics use the term and only on Easter Sunday. It
> > > typically replaces 'holy spirit' when parishoners cross themselves.
> > > "Father, Son, Superhuman Zombie."
> > >
> > > You have to say 'superhuman' fast so as not to break up the cadence of
> > > crossing yourself.
> > >
> > > (And, being a Catholic, I can say this without fear of going to hell.
> > > Of course, having been Baptist prior to conversion, I've still got
> > > that "once in grace always in grace" thing to fall back on too.)
> > > D. Wells
> > >
> >
> >
> > As a Christmas and Easter Lutheran type, I guess I'm pretty much
screwed -
> > but it was worth the chuckle. Now open your hymnals to page 456 and join
me
> > in singing, My Shepherd, The Superhuman Zombie...
>
> Yup, one of my favorites. Although they keep changing the hymnals, as
> I find every time I go home to visit mom, and it's probably been
> replaced by something more modern like, "His Vacant Eyes Watch Over
> Me."
>
>

....and let's not forget "I Shall Follow Thy Lumbering Steps."

Kermit
November 20th 04, 05:25 AM
(Hans-Marc Olsen) wrote in message >...
> Jesus Christ does not want you to lift weights, he does not like
> muscles.Better spend your money to charity and pray to god !
>
> Or go to HELL!

Tsk. I thought the body was the temple of the spirit. Maybe you need
to wash your windows and hammer down a few loose nails...

Kermit

DHW
November 20th 04, 09:43 PM
On 19 Nov 2004 10:48:29 -0800, (Eric Witte) wrote:

>> But wait, didn't Christ model weight-lifting on the road to Calvary?
>>
>> If only he'd had some training in the caber toss. Things could have
>> turned out differently.
>>
>> Dally
>
>I wish he lived. Just so it would not have brainwashed so many
>generations of people ;)
>
>Eric
He lives in every one of us!

I can't believe this hasn't been pointed out by someone else ... does
MFW lack members of the religious right? Maybe, as weightlifting is a
sin, it does.

Wait a minute ... maybe I'm thinking of Elvis. Elvis is in everyone.
Elvis is in everything. (Except of course, Michael J. Fox)

Sometimes I get my New Testament and Mojo Nixon confused.
D. Wells


Remove the numbers to mail me. Include the text "gore-in-2004"
(without quotation marks) to ensure you make it past the spam filter.