A Fitness & exercise forum. FitnessBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » FitnessBanter.com forum » Fitness & Exercise » Weights
Site Map Home Register Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Canada Deals With Bush-Dodgers

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old November 25th 04, 06:27 PM
John Hanson
external usenet poster
Posts: n/a
Default Canada Deals With Bush-Dodgers

On Thu, 25 Nov 2004 02:26:49 GMT, "Milton Bradley"
wrote in mn.general:

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the
exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to
hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I
said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my
screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't
give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
the border, and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people
are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said.
"I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice
little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing
loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in
which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious
ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens
on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen
passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence
Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon
movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors
does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged
that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. "We're going
to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered
species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

- Milton

golf clap


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Off Topic : Politcs: American: Bush Vows To Preserve The Patriot Act Steve Weights 132 May 1st 04 07:37 PM
Off Topic : Late Night Comedians Skewer Bush Steve Weights 181 April 8th 04 06:38 AM
Off Topic : Politics: American: Sign A Petition For Congress ToCensure Bush About The Iraqui War Steve Weights 1 February 10th 04 05:03 AM
It's not only the weather that is cooler in Canada JC Der Koenig Weights 63 August 4th 03 08:58 PM

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:36 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2004-2019 FitnessBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.